inklings...

overheard at dinner

2008-05-25T21:22:00.000-07:00

mark has 2 nieces. they are 5 1/2 and almost 3. they are awesome. also, they are expecting another sibling to join their family soon, so babies are a big topic of conversation at their house.

below, an excerpt of a conversation between mark and the 3 year old this evening.

e: "mark, you have a big tummy."

m: "um, okay. i guess i do."

e: "maybe there is a baby in there!"

kids are the best.

why i live in california

2008-05-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

this morning's haul from the farmers' market:

baby spinach
salad greens
regular kale
dinosaur kale
rainbow chard
snap peas
asparagus
basil
cilantro
blueberries
strawberries
peaches
cherries
carrots
clover sprouts
sprouted bean mix
string beans
raw collard veggie wraps

all local, all organic. hooray.

we also split a bavarian pretzel-croissant. and we tried "apriums"- half apricot, half plum. there was actual jumping up and down with glee when i saw the blueberry lady. mark had to steer me away from buying a flat of 24 pints of blueberries. i settled on 3 pints. i figure that will hold me until next saturday.

i think we might be moving into an era of more nutritiousness around here. after our week of takeout last week. i'm dreaming of fritattas.

ten things i love

2008-05-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

the kids rocking out to phil collins cds
passing notes to the second grade teacher
watching the nest-building cliff swallows that have taken up residence in the eaves of the school roof
the "is a square a rectangle?" discussion (this is a hotly debated topic in first grade)
handmade drawings and notes that say things like "i like you because you don't yell too much."
reading the pigeon books
singing we shall overcome near dr. king's birthday each year
hearing gems like, "guess what? i was born on may 16 and my birthday is may 16! isn't that a coincidence?"
national poetry month
fresh crayons

ten things i will not miss

2008-05-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

teaching p.e.
staff meetings that drag on...
"can you open this? can you tie my shoe? my nose is running! i'm bleeding! i can't find my special pencil! but i don't like this lunch. math hurts my feelings! they won't let me play! where is my book box? i don't get it! i'm done! what do i do now?"
the feeling that i could/should always, always be doing better than i am (i'm afraid this one may not be teaching-specific)
being talked to by 15 people at the same time
sneaky kids
parents who say, "no, we don't know where her homework folder is and we really can't bring it back each friday like everyone else does, but actually her homework is too easy anyway and can you make harder homework just for her?"
colleagues who don't actually like children very much
getting sneezed/spit on
the pay

my new motto

2008-05-19T20:01:00.000-07:00

go easy. be gentle.

(we'll see how long this lasts)

wise words

2008-05-12T18:51:00.000-07:00

from sarah today:

stalled out

2008-05-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

ici ice cream in berkeley. hand-rolled cones filled with chocolate. yum.

a few things:

one: i came across this on a blog today. the blog is design for mankind which looks like an interesting blog but i really haven't looked at it yet. but i loved what it says when you open the page:

because beauty lies in the details of design. in the pencil shavings, in the blueberry waffles. the vintage dress, framed portrait, old postcard.

i love this.

two: i am feeling low. i am in the midst of having big lofty ideas and plans and feeling like none of them are working out. pooh. and why when i feel lousy do i do things that make me feel worse (cookie-eating, laying about, watching bad tv, not bringing lunch to school) rather than better (exercise, drinking water, making colorful delicious salads, cutting out noise)?

three: i really want a strawberry cone from ici. haven't had one yet. i'm told that perhaps there will be one in my future tonight. i'm looking forward to it. last time at ici i had the chocolate salted almond ice cream. delightful.

found haiku

2008-05-06T19:26:00.000-07:00

the aforementioned pig toss! i am so excited for my fabric to arrive.

i know national poetry month is over, but this one was too good not to share:

found in the airport bathroom:

if sensor is blocked

use manual flush button.
this unit features
a 3 second flush delay.

also. have you read love that dog? you should. it will take you a blissful, bittersweet 20 minutes. i am reading it to my students right now and its hard not to cry during read aloud.

postscript: over the weekend, i flew to san diego and back with no drugs. for the first time since i can't remember. hooray for personal victories!

the process

2008-04-29T11:33:00.000-07:00

the name of the above fabric? "hedgehog parade." that's right. there was another one called "pig toss," which is exactly what you're imagining. holy moly. it's too good.

so.

i've been having a bit of a brainstorm about some new creative projects to embark on. i'm thinking about fabric leaf sculpture and sewing summer skirts, and making new tote bags and adding applique embellishments to prexisting totebags. i'm thinking about embroidery. embroidery, for heavens' sake! little birds and trees... i've been thinking about hunting for new recipes for roast chicken and gazpacho and raw collard green veggie wraps. i've been thinking about baking bread. i've been thinking, once again, about pie.

here's the thing, though. i suppose i'm a reasonably creative person (i think we all are, acutally). i'm excited to have new ideas. but i am reminded over and over, as i fiddle with the sewing machine bobbin or eye mark's half-finished scarf, that i often avoid being creative because i don't like the process. i like brainstorming. i like having ideas and making lists and writing them down. i also like being done. i know some people really enjoy the making, but all i really want is to have the finished product: to wear my new "very hungry caterpillar" skirt while eating gazpacho made from tomatoes i've grown in the backyard. with pie for dessert. in a tote bag.

i have been thinking a lot lately about the process and about getting more comfortable with puzzling through the unfinished messiness. there are many life components for me that are very much in the "process" stage at the moment. i can't see how they are going to turn out, or if they are going to work the way i expect/hope/imagine they will. i am doing my best to not drive myself crazy looking for the conclusion before living the story. because that's creative too. and the only way to get to the finished product is to go through.

my favorite buddhist would point out, of course, that it's all a process and muddling through is the only way. it's just a question of how conscious we choose to be about the muddling.

the project: conscious muddling. making friends with the process. and bird embroidery.

shout out

2008-04-25T18:03:00.000-07:00

artichokes, rome

my brothers are so cool. the featured cool brother for this post is michael, who has developed this amazing website for viewing and sharing original art.

behold!: http://www.art.flipslide.net/alpha/index.php

you should check it out. especially if you are an artist, or if you know an artist. he needs folks to submit pictures of their work in order to get it up and running and fully functional. we'll use the term "artist" loosely here, as my vacation snapshots of rome made the cut. so if you're an aspiring photographer (that means you, melsky), or if you just whipped up a new knitted tea cozy, you could upload a picture of that.

speaking of which, the above photograph is the first original one that i've posted here. after 6 months of plagarism, finally an original...

notes from spring break

2008-04-25T15:19:00.000-07:00

oh, hello.

i am on spring break. here is what i've been up to:

making poetry month greeting cards: so fun. i won't dare post a picture of them lest i spoil the surprise for the lucky 10 of you who are about to receive them in the mail. how delightful to create a project. how delightful to not have to share the glue stick (i can totally relate to my students who hog materials because i do the exact same thing).

job-hunting: librarian? gardening teacher? camp director? reading specialist? bookstore worker? cheese seller (yes, i saw an add for a cheese shop today, promising to train those "passionate about cheese.")

watching flight of the conchords: have you seen this yet? if you haven't, stop reading and go watch it now. then you will begin speaking with a new zealand accent, like me.

birdwatching and wildflower hunting: so far i can identify the california poppy. that's it.

learning to row: not in a boat yet. on the rowing machine. also known as the "erg," to those in the know. i have blisters. i am hard core.

watching food network: a guilty pleasure. the barefoot contessa? yes, please.

thinking about babies: babies are nice.

the plan for the rest of the day involves sending out resumes, making peach iced tea, and grilling lamb sausages for dinner. maybe some yoga and birdwatching tomorrow. and raw avocado soup from the farmer's market. this blog has proved a useful procrastination tool. thank you.

happiness

2008-04-12T12:06:00.000-07:00

one kind of bliss: sleeping late, homemade pasta with cream sauce, cream puffs dripping with chocolate, neopolitan pizza, creamy buffalo mozzarella, bottle upon bottle of wine, and prosciutto three times a day.

another kind of bliss: sadieyoga and the farmer's market, berkeley sunshine, buying 3 pints of strawberries because they're newly in season, cold raw avocado soup, rainbow chard, salad greens tossed with edible flowers, sprouted beans, spinach, and artichokes.

joy comes in many forms. sometimes in salad greens.

on that note...

i thank you God for most this amazing

i thank You God for most this amazing

day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky;

and for everything

which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,

and this is the sun's birthday;

this is the birthday of life and love and wings:

and of the gay great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing

breathing any-lifted from the no

of all nothing-human merely being

doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and

now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

ee cummings

Black Oaks

2008-04-04T10:43:00.000-07:00

Okay, not one can write a symphony, or a dictionary,

or even a letter to an old friend, full of remembrance
and comfort.

Not one can manage a single sound though the blue jays
carp and whistle all day in the branches, without
the push of the wind.

But to tell the truth after a while I'm pale with longing
for their thick bodies ruckled with lichen

and you can't keep me from the woods, from the tonnage

of their shoulders, and their shining green hair.

Today is a day like any other: twenty-four hours,
a little sunshine, a little rain.

Listen, says ambition, nervously shifting her weight from
one boot to another -- why don't you get going?

For there I am, in the mossy shadows, under the trees.

And to tell the truth I don't want to let go of the wrists
of idleness, I don't want to sell my life for money,

I don't even want to come in out of the rain.

Mary Oliver

your daily dose of poetry

2008-04-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

Television

The most important thing we've learned,

far as children are concerned,

Is never, NEVER, NEVER let

Them near your television set --

Or better still, just don't install

he idiotic thing at all.

In almost every house we've been,

We've watched them gaping at the screen.

they loll and slop and loge about,

and stare until their eyes pop out.

(Last week in someone's place we saw

A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)

They sit and stare and stare and sit

Until they're hypnotised by it,

Until they're absolutely drunk

With all that shocking ghastly junk.

Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,

They don't climb out the window sill,

They never fight or kick or punch,

They leave you free to cook the lunch

And wash the dishes in the sink --

But did you ever stop to think,

To wonder just exactly what

This does to your beloved tot?

IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!

IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!

IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!

IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND

HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND

A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!

HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!

HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!

HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!'

All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,'

But if we take the set away,

What shall we do to entertain

Our darling children? Please explain!

'We'll answer this by asking you,

'What used the darling ones to do?

'How used they keep themselves contented

Before this monster was invented?'

Have you forgotten? Don't you know?

We'll say it very loud and slow:

THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ!

They'd READ and READ,

AND READ and READ, and then proceed

To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!

One half their lives was reading books!

The nursery shelves held books galore!

Books cluttered up the nursery floor!

And in the bedroom, by the bed,

happy national poetry month!

2008-04-02T09:44:00.000-07:00

hello hello!

it's april now- that means it's poetry time. look for poetry updates here. so many good ones to share.
also, soon there may be a wrap-up post about the italy trip, but for now i will just say it was so fabulous and you can read about the first week of it in greater detail below, if you care to.

for now, onward with poetry!
---------------------------------------------
You Begin
by Margaret Atwood

You begin this way:
this is your hand,
this is your eye,
that is a fish, blue and flat
on the paper, almost
the shape of an eye.
This is your mouth, this is an O
or a moon, whichever
you like. This is yellow.
Outside the window
is the rain, green
because it is summer, and beyond that
the trees and then the world,
which is round and has only
the colors of these nine crayons.
This is the world, which is fuller
and more difficult to learn than I have said.
You are right to smudge it that way
with the red and then
the orange: the world burns.
Once you have learned these words
you will learn that there are more
words than you can ever learn.
The word hand floats above your hand
like a small cloud over a lake.
The word hand anchors
your hand to this table,
your hand is a warm stone
I hold between two words.
This is your hand, these are my hands, this is the world,
which is round but not flat and has more colors
than we can see.
It begins, it has an end,
this is what you will
come back to, this is your hand.

day 8- roma

2008-03-28T15:51:00.000-07:00

we will remember today for many reasons, but it will go down in the history of our honeymoon as the day the sun finally came out (for more than 20 minutes). booyah! all the better to appreciate rome.

breakfast this morning was on the hotel’s (enclosed—it was still raining) roof terrace- no strawberry jam but we made do with apricot. delightful cappuccino. our hotel in rome lacks the style of the hotel in capri or the graciousness of the hotel in positano, but its location is perfect- right near the piazza navona and the historic center of rome. we knew that much of our time in rome would be spent out and about, so our accommodations were less important. that said, the hotel is just fine and we were able to walk to all of the sights we wanted to see today (although by the end of dinner i was tired and made mark take a cab with me back to the hotel. i am lazy. this we know.).

our day in rome began with a walk along the tiber, past the palace of justice and across the ponte san angelo. along the way we passed the castel san angelo (castle of st. angelo), a former fortress, palace, and prison that bears more than a passing resemblance to a chocolate cake. we walked to st. peter’s basilica, waited in the huge line to get in (and today wasn’t even a pope day), through the security checkpoint that they didn’t have 7 years ago when we were here, and into the church. which is big. and made of marble. and impressive in 8 different ways and you should come and see it for yourself someday. saw michelangeo’s pieta, bernini’s baldacchino (high altarpiece, which looks like a chuppah). saw some nuns (i love nuns. they’re so cute!). armed with my blue guide of rome, i tried to bust out some of my art history knowledge for mark, but got a little confused with my berninis and bramantes and borominis and bruneleschis. no matter.

walked around the corner to the vatican museum. huge, epic line. a woman approached us, told us about a group tour in english that was starting soon that would skip the line, etc. after a brief conversation (is it a scam?), we decided to check it out. we were glad we did because not only wasn’t it a scam, it turned out to be a really fabulous tour of both the museum and st. peter’s. with chris, our art history-theology phd student from new zealand. he showed us a whole bunch of everything—we were with him for about 4 hours. all of my teacher’s pet inklings kicked into high gear, and we were each able to answer some of chris’s questions that he posed to the group. (what’s that behind god in the creation of man on the sistine chapel ceiling? a brain! what did pope gregory create that we still use today? the gregorian calendar! who is that pointing to the sky in raphael’s school of athens? why, socrates, of course.) there is no joy like the joy of being a nerd.

at one point, the guide asked if there was anyone “of jewish descent” in the group. um, yes, hello, shalom, here we are. talked about some jewish iconography that was appropriated by the catholic church, and also about what the jews were up to during the renaissance (mainly lending money and getting kicked out of spain, from what i’ve heard).

anyhow, the whole museum is so amazing and the sistine chapel is really not to be believed. it is also packed, stuffed to the gills with tourists and tour group leaders holding up their umbrellas and cranky italian guards shushing everyone. i would love to see it empty, and get to lay down on the floor. not today, alas. but that’s okay. my favorite figure is the libyian sibyl (gotta love those michelangelo backs—all the ladies look like they’ve been spending a lot of time at the gym). mark liked the last judgement best, and also liked looking at the creation of man and saying “pull my finger.” because he is classy that way.

anohter quick zip around st. peter’s, then, famished, we found pizza and our favorite gelato after the tour ended. walked back to the hotel, then to the pantheon.

the pantheon, by mark:

“it’s right in the middle of town. you just walk right down one of the many alleys of shops, and turn the corner, and there it is. it’s been there since 120 ad. it’s massive and old and amazing looking, with lots of holes on the top. i really like the color and the massiveness of it. lots of important italians are buried there: rafael, galileo, dante. it’s got a hole in the top for bird poo and rain to come in. it was the biggest dome in the world until 1960, and it feels that way. it’s surrounded by lots of buildings—there are apartments and stuff all around it. some people, they open their window and they’re like, ‘i wish my apartment had a good view but this big old building is in my way.’ but it’s not so bad. since 120 ad, birds have been pooping on top of it.”

after the pantheon, the trevi fountain, with a quick shopping stop along the way (yellow shoes!!!). then, dinner at a small place recommended by our driver from positano. pasta, artichokes, fagoli (white beans). lovely. a blissful cab ride later and we are back in our room. i’m hoping for a foot rub. we’ll see…

day 6- positano-sorrento-pompeii

2008-03-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

today’s big adventure was pompeii. after another delightful breakfast (mark got the view of positano this time, but i got the view of mark) among loud american children eating cinnamon toast, we set out on our pompeiian adventure. originally we thought we might hire a driver to take us to pompeii. when we found out that that would cost 200 euros, and that there was a bus and a train that cost roughly one 100th of that amount, we opted for the transportation adventure.

so. bus to sorrento, along a road much like california’s highway 1 (ocean, mountains, twists, turns) with one notable exception: today’s road was wide enough to be a one-lane road, but has traffic going in both directions. ciao, italia! many tour buses were coming down the hill to positano as we were leaving, and a flurry of horn honking and maneuvering ensued. this is to say nothing of the fiats and the alfas and the mopeds, mopeds, mopeds zooming along. plus the stands on the side of the road selling lemons and clusters of san marzano tomatoes. at one point, we got sort of wedged between the mountain and another bus, with only inches to spare on each side. delightful. but we made it to sorrento without incident. hopped on the circumvesuviana train to pompeii. i had a wee moment of impressing mark when i asked the train ticket seller man for due bigletti per pompeii scavi (two tickets to the pompeii excavations). or else maybe i asked him for a roast goat. who knows, really, but we got our tickets and got on the train and did a crossword puzzle in stupid usa today which is really almost as bad as the oakland tribune but at least it has a crossword puzzle.

pompeii, by mark

“i liked the wine bar. i also liked the public baths. i liked that there was an area to work out first so you could get a little sore, and then you could go in to the sauna and have a massage. there was a room that had central heating- there were double walls with space in between, and they would boil water outside and send it through the wall to centrally heat the room and the floor. very modern. they had a public forum with shops and money changing shops. the roads had special rocks to step on when it would rain, like a built in bridge. the wine bar was cool. there was a bar with vats for different kinds of wines. some wines would be heated during the winter and poured into terra cotta bowls, which held the heat well. all they drank was wine. lots of wine. the women, they were the smart ones. when they saw the rich men they would offer their prostitution services. i saw a cool bird that was yellow and striped on its flanks, like a sparrow. it was sparrow shaped but sounded like a hummingbird. i think it was actually a warbler, but i don’t know. we saw a private home of a wealthy person, which was like a fortress.”

a side note. it has been raining pretty much nonstop since we arrived. but for our time at pompeii (with a guide we had preearanged) was sunny. it started to rain just as we were leaving to go back to sorrento. by the time we got back to positano, it had cleared up.

we love positano. it is our favorite place so far on this trip. our hotel is amazing, the town is sweet and fun, and there is the amazing cannoli shop (an impromptu song today featured the rhyme “cannoli” with “roly-poly,” which is how we’re getting here. no matter.) we would love to come back to positano someday when it is not the rainy season. maybe early may.

then, our daily profiterole/cannoli party, followed by a bath in the jaccuzi tub. went to a restaurant on the beach for dinner; sat outside under gas heat lamps. pizza, belinnis, salad, white wine. perfetto. there were two or three stray cats wandering around (one black one and one tabby tortoishell… remind you of anyone?). we fed them ham and anchovies and cheese and then they were our best friends. i was tempted by the profiteroles at dessert, but cooler heads prevailed.

we are back in the room, determined to watch the movie that we borrowed from the hotel two days ago (stranger than fiction), so we’re off.

tomorrow: roma!

day 5-positano

2008-03-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

when i was in high school, i worked on the musical grand hotel, in which there is a song (not a very good or catchy song) about positano. it has been in my head all day.

in mark’s head: a whole new world from aladdin, which we were treated to in both english and italian this evening. bellisima!

this morning: slept in, ate breakfast in a room covered in lemon trees. no couches this time, but with the most lovely view of positano (from my seat, that is. mark had a view of me, which the smooth italian waiter was quick to suggest was also lovely). the glorious meat parade continues. the table of americans next to us spent much of their breakfasttime trying to decipher what the fruit was that looks like a sungold cherry tomato but tastes like a kumquat was. (a gooseberry, you fools! were you raised in a barn?). i resisted the urge to be a know-it-all.

after breakfast, we decided to go on a hike. all that room service pasta is catching up to us. plus, we wanted to see a view. at the last minute, i ran back for my raincoat. just in case… (foreshadowing!)

here is the thing about positano: there are many stairs. our hike was less of a hike as it was a stairmaster session—1600 stairs, the concierge said. give or take. as we walked out of the hotel, it began to drizzle. undaunted, we pressed on. around stair 500, it began to downpour. i composed an ode to my raincoat:

my raincoat is my friend
my raincoat keeps me dry
my raincoat is my friend
without it i would cry

mark had no raincoat. he almost cried. his magic hat kept his head dry, though.

we finally reached the town above positano, which has a name we can’t remember (montaverde? montepulciano? maine? something with an m). hiked down a different set of stairs, slowly. we discussed the dodgers’ prospects for the upcoming season. mark is worried that so many players are injured, but excited to see some rookies and young players in action. i can’t get over the fact that the coaches in baseball (“managers, say managers,” mark says) wear the same uniforms as the players. because what? they are all of a sudden going to pinch hit? can you imagine if coaches did this in other sports? ice hockey? water polo? fencing?

we arrived back in positano, drenched, and decided to reward ourselves with a hot bath and a pile of dessert—cream puffs and cannoli. also sandwiches. mark chose one called “panini big.” which it was.

we made our way down to the hotel spa for massages. delightful. bliss. borrowed a backgammon set to bring to the room. lazed about. cocktails in the hotel bar (i finally got my belinni!) and off to dinner, back up in the town that starts with an m, but in a car this time.

dinner: fried yummies, prosecco, ricotta, mozarella, meats! homemade pasta, meat. mark finally got to have tagliatelle con porcini. they brought us scary liquers for dessert. it was maybe the best meal yet. family place. reasonably priced (finally!). great house wine.

now, back the room. tomorrow, pompeii, sorrento, proscuitto.

day 4- capri to positano

2008-03-25T15:29:00.000-07:00

what i love about this trip, by rebs:

clear skies (finally), the drive from sorrento to positano, tomato and mozarella salad for lunch and again for dinner, room service on silver trays in our big bed, watching best in show. sweets that feature cream and/or cheese (we found cannoli today!). our new hotel, with its orange blossomed terraces and big bathtub. the prospect of hiking, getting a massage, and drinking a belinni tomorrow. linen sheets. poorly translated things. and, of course, mark.

what i love about this trip, by mark:

all of it.

happy to report that the ferry from capri was much less eventful than the inbound trip. i feel like we’ve settled into the fun of this vacation today, realizing that we really do get to choose what we want to do without obligation of things we have to do. what we wanted to do today in positano involved taking a walk down to the beach, shooting bb guns at glass soda bottles, patting a beagle. having gelato, watching the waves. lovely.

day 3- capri

2008-03-24T10:39:00.000-07:00

on tv in our hotel room today:

-high school musical (in Italian- high school musical 2 is on tomorrow!)
-the pope’s easter blessing from the vatican (in italian, with radiohead-like voiceover)
-european diving championships (in german)
-al jazeera (arabic)
-mary poppins (in italian)
-various bad american movies featuring dennis quaid, all dubbed

the reason we know all of this is because it was cold and damp and windy here today, so we spent some good chunks of it hunkered down in our room. fortunately our room is stocked with champagne and italian chocolates, robes and slippers, the aforementioned couch with 14 pillows, and, of course, wireless internet.

we got out in the world too, in the town of anacapri where we are staying. before we get to that, let us pause and rhapsodize about the breakfast buffet.

so many meats, so little time… homemade sausage and salami, proscuitto cut to order, sausage, bacon, ham. mark’s favorite was the extra fatty, mushy, stinky salami, of course. there is really no hope of us ever keeping kosher, ever. not with such things to eat in the world.

also for breakfast, blood orange juice and grapefruit juice, also “green apple juice” which we didn’t try but will tomorrow. smoked salmon and tuna, eggs for the obnoxious americans (but not as obnoxious as the brits who came to breakfast in their pajamas. a step up from them, we were hopelessly underdressed compared to our italian counterparts, with their full makeup at 10am and tight jeans tucked into boots and men in suits. more on italian jet-setter fashion this evening). breads and pastries and homemade jam. cocoa puffs, tastefully presented in a silver dish. and the ricotta, and the fruits…

breakfast is in the room that is the hotel’s fancy restaurant at night. mark ate sitting on a couch, i was in an armchair. more amazing flower arrangements. a second helping of proscuitto.

we are staying in anacapri, the uppermost town on the island. capri, as i understand it, is essentially 3-tiered. there is the level closest to the sea, where the ferries arrive, the center of capri town (“la piazetta”) about halfway up, and then anacapri at the top. to get to anacapri there is one road. if you don’t mind one lane for two directions of traffic, blind corners, and sheer drops to the ocean below and only some dinky little fence to protect you, then the road to anacapri isn’t harrowing at all. our hotel is right near the main square of anacapri, where the buses and taxis pick up and drop off. cobblestone streets, little alleys, views of the mountains-- it’s a little like tzfat, except with churches instead of synagogues and with different requisite tourist items for sale (instead of kipot, challah covers, and bad art, you can buy limoncello, sandals, coral jewelry—and bad art). found a fabulous painted tile sign which says, in italian, “beware of the cats.” yes, we are those cat people, who buy souvenirs because we miss our pets. so embarrassing.

we wandered around town in the morning, pausing to look for some elusive birds. visited the home of axel munthe—a swedish doctor/writer/animal lover who lived in capri and whose home is now a museum. visited a few churches. had a late lunch (pizza ai funghi), then back to the hotel for a nap and read aloud (mr. topsy-turvy and little miss bad, purchased in london).

dinner was in capri. because of the aforementioned harrowing road, i convinced mark to shell out an extra 10 euro (the exchange rate is killing us) for a taxi. the taxis here are fiat mareas- white convertibles only found on capri. ours had the top up, due to the weather. “it’s always like this in the spring,” the driver told us. “but in the summer, it’s too hot- maybe 40 degrees celsius.” When the good weather is, we don’t know.

the center of capri, build around the main square (“la piazetta”) is topsy turvy in its own way. here, mark explains:

“it’s like rodeo drive but in italy. pish posh and silly. movie stars go there have the comforts of fancy stores at home but think they’re cool because they’re in italy. really they’re just strolling around another rodeo drive. it’s a great place to get a leather jacket for your 5 year old or poufy fur your coats. make sure to walk with your collar turned up and bring a sweater to throw over your back to look preppy, italian-style. clearly they have not seen molly ringwald movies yet, but we know how it’s going to end. the geek’s going to get the girl, and the italian bully with the sweater around his neck is going to be sad and dissatisfied with his shallow italian bird of a wife. and stay away from the red house wine at ristorante da gemma.”

I will add that I saw a pair of gold lamé shorts that were just fabulous. So versatile, really.

after doing a little window shopping (prada, versace, armani), and checking out one of the hotels we didn’t choose to stay at (we were very pleased with our choice), we had dinner in a local restaurant. on the plus side, there was something on the menu called “fried medley of fabulous goodness” (or something like that) which featured cheese fried many ways, yummy bread (stuffed with meat! vivia italia!), and lovely company. on the minus side, there was bad wine, bad service, too cold, sort of empty, touristy. we braved the bus back to anacapri, had a drink by the fireplace in the hotel bar, and are now settled in for the night.

tomorrow we hope to go to positano (via sorrento, on the ferry), but we are not sure what time the ferry will leave because, as the front desk man informed us, “the sea is rough” (hello, dramamine). fortunately the ferry ride is only 20 minutes, instead of the 45 from naples, and also fortunately once we get to positano, the nautical portion of our trip will be over. land, ho.

the part where we take a boat

2008-03-22T15:47:00.001-07:00

day 2- naples to capri

today started out at our hotel in naples, where we met the house dog (mark fed it proscuitto- don’t tell!) and had breakfast in the breakfast room with silver lamé napkins. there were some fabulous breakfast discoveries- mark did a taste test with three types of homemade jam (i predicted they were plum, marmalade, and apricot), and pronounced them all sweet but unidentifiable. i had aloe vera flavored yogurt from a tiny glass jar. quite tasty. we approve of any country that advocates eating so many dried meats for breakfast. the hotel folks said we could leave our bags in the room for the day. one more piece of bacon for the dog, and we were off.

a word about naples. naples is fabulous. anyone who says naples is dangerous and dirty and you shouldn’t go there but if you do wear fake jewelry is just a rabble-rouser. down with fear! naples is great. we went to the archeological museum, around the corner from our hotel. sculptures, mosaics. greek stuff, roman stuff, mostly stuff from pompeii and herculaneaum. many mosaics of birds, which our ornithologist easily identified.

then, a walk through town on a pedestrian street that would have been a pedestrian street except for the cars driving on it. naples is like that. we passed stores selling musical instruments and doll parts, but couldn’t find a curious sounding store listed in our guidebook that specializes in “old books, gay literature, cats, and magic” (such delightful incongruity!). paused for a snack: babalini: small, rum-soaked fried yummies (doughnuts essentially) covered in cream and nutella. watched the other patrons buy their easter cakes, including a bread with hard-boiled eggs baked into it—i’m sure this has a name, but i don’t know what it is yet.

passed piazze and pigeons (our ornithologist can and will tell you all about pigeons) on the way to pizzeria da michele, made famous to us by elizabeth gilbert in eat, pray, love. stood outside with a throng of people and finally made it inside to share a table with an italian couple. We sat across from them. It was slightly odd. We ordered pizza margarita with double cheese, and coke from glass bottles (no high fructose corn syrup here, no siree). i composed a little song to sing to my pizza, i appreciated it so. fought with an atm machine (we prevailed, after 3 rounds), back to the hotel, checked out, another taxi to the harbor.

here our story gets a little complicated, since we were let off by the taxi man at the wrong bigletteria (ticket office). there was yelling, there was schlepping, there were hand gestures, there was a long angry walk to the correct ferry terminal. we were so determined to get on the boat that we sort of forgot that we were getting on a boat.

the part where mark has the slightest tendency to become immediately and unbelievably seasick.

the part where it was raining and the waves were choppy.

the part where our italian co-riders let out collective screams as the boat bumped along.

mark, prepared with dramamine, managed to keep his pizza down. the woman across the aisle—not so much.

i knew it was bad when one of the crew members started passing out bags to vomit into. i took one, only as an (empty) souvenir.

now we are in anacapri, high at the top of the island. our hotel is a place that maybe p. diddy would stay, if he came to capri. there is a sitting area in one corner of our room; a couch with 14 pillows. Happiness is a couch with 14 pillows. when we arrived they gave us glasses of prosecco and a plate of tiny snacks. the flower arrangements here are maybe the most amazing ive ever seen.

a good dinner of pasta, grilled fish, insalata caprese, wine. and now—wireless internet, and a slew of articles about the dodgers- our ornithologist is happy. our narrator is tired. a domani…

(i saw yellow vespas for rent…)

italian holiday

2008-03-22T11:42:00.000-07:00

instead of getting rained on and going to work in berkeley, we are drinking prosecco and getting rained on in italy. below, an update from day one:

21. march 08
napoli

purim. shabbat. heads spinninig from planes and a bottle of house wine. and from naples.

today started yesterday in san francisco. we boarded our huge 747 and sat in our comfy seats—i was asleep before takeoff—mark watched “no country for old men” and tried his luck at “who wants to be a millionaire,” british-style. “it was so hard,” he says. “stupid british.”—we did well on the american questions though. the plane was smooth- unbelievably smooth for 900,000 pounds of steel and luggage and travelers. transferred from heathrow to gatwick on the coach, stopping to buy mr. men books and top trumps. had lunch in an airport café- bangers and mash and peas (we tried to get mushy peas as an homage to loz but had no luck). mark discovered a new flavor (flavour?) potato chips (crisps?) and is now having a love affair with them. they are mc coy’s “flame grilled steak” flavored. the flight attendants said “cheerio” when we left the plane. indeed.

now we are in naples. we’re in our yellow hotel room after a fabulous dinner. the young neopolitans of the world are making noise outside our window, but no matter. we’re thrilled to be in a bed. plush purple slippers in the bathroom but i’m too tired to get up off the bed. dinner was at a local osteria, “carina” – fried ricotta balls and champagne for free surprise starters, creamy procsuitto de parma, pasta with seafood (fusilli with baby clams, fat tubes with mussels and pecorino—mark wanted to marry this dish), simple grilled fish. there was half a hard-boiled egg in the bread basket—because of easter? house wine with no label—a waiter who met us halfway with language. about 6 tables in the place.

naples is fabulous. all this talk of dirt and crime and purse-snatchers on mopeds is no reason to stay away. i held onto my purse and we walked around like everyone else doing their business at 11:30 on a friday night. now we are in our hotel room drinking limoncello. i don’t like the taste, but i like the idea of it.

our cab driver from the airport spoke french and drove like a madman. passing cars one after another on an onramp. a one-lane onramp. there are no lane markers painted on the streets here; we drove in the tram lane, and on the wrong side of the street. what fun.

i have fabulous new travel shoes but my feet are throbbing nonetheless. no matter. tomorrow will be pizzeria da michele and the archaeological museum and the gelato that we looked for in vain tonight. i’m hoping to stumble upon some pastries with cream. canolli, maybe? then off to capri but for the moment it’s lovely, simply lovely, to be in one place.

overheard in the car

2008-02-27T10:05:00.000-08:00

"here's the thing about pets. with dogs, they pretty much have to stay where you want them to go. but cats? a cat could go all the way to new zealand if it wanted to. as long as it was home in time for dinner."

in other news, i am sick. blah. and maybe i will get back to blogging again soon. there is that dinner at the french laundry to write about.

overheard in first grade

2008-02-05T11:15:00.000-08:00

yesterday afternoon at the end of the school day, a few things were happening at the same time. i was hard at work making a birthday card that involved cherry jolly ranchers, much to the chagrin of my students, with whom i would not share. also, one of my students ran up to me and informed me that after school she was going with her sister to see the new hannah montana movie in 3-d and then out to dinner.

"your life is way more exciting than mine," i told her.

"yeah, but you get to have candy and a husband," she replied.

fair point. also, i get to vote. i have another student who is up in arms about the voting age. she thinks it should be lowererd to 6.

except to say this

2008-01-30T10:04:00.000-08:00

because it is the best treatise on compassion that i know:

Wild Geese
by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain

are moving across the landscapes,

over the prairies and the deep trees,

the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,

are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,

the world offers itself to your imagination,

calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —

over and over announcing your place

in the family of things.

time out

2008-01-29T20:05:00.001-08:00

so. the part where i had a big ambitious plan about being creative? and i set out a timeline and parameters and told the world?

um, yeah. not so much.

so i have not followed through with my plan. oh well. i would so love to be able to report that i've been crafting away and making crotcheted potholders and other such whatnot. there are oh so many blogs out there with lovely pictures of lovely projects that lovely people have made while homeschooling their children and having an etsy shop and making stew and baking pie. from scratch. and roller skating.

this is not one of those blogs. the jig is up.

and that's mostly fine with me. it is interesting to me how i feel pulled in the direction of making a big fancy plan and then executing it perfectly and publicly, even though life rarely seems to work that way. but maybe there is value in self-discovery too, even if it is messy and imperfect. or something.

also, i think i am going to take a little break from blogging, while i deal with some other mundane life things that are too big/small to blog about. in the meantime, i will be playing with pink yarn, drinking tea from the yellow teapot, watching west wing, maybe knitting a hat with earflaps, and trying to stay warm and dry. and hunting for magnolia trees in bloom.

project

2008-01-23T11:33:00.000-08:00

the new blue pants, j.crew

the project: ten days of creativity

the plan: 10 days, 10 projects. a bit of craftiness tucked into each day.

the rationale: i spend a lot of time thinking about project ideas, things i want to make, materials to collect, knitting ideas, sewing ideas, poem ideas, bookmaking ideas, but the actual creating is not really happening so much. also, i spend a lot of time watching tv, and maybe there are some other activities that would be fun/replenishing. since i like structure, and i also like gimmicky blog ideas, i thought i would give this a try.

the rules: i will do some sort of creative project/activity every day, and then share the results with you here. i will try to suspend judgement about how good said projects are. i will start on saturday, in order to give myself time to do some preliminary planning/gathering (buy knitting needles, fix camera, etc.). i will ride my bike and think up ideas. i will see how it goes.

projects to include (maybe): knitting a scarf, sewing more coasters, buying ribbon, painting, signing up for a bookmaking class, making stickers. making paper, making a photo flipbook, playing the guitar. standing on my head.

care to join me?

quiet reading

2008-01-21T21:27:00.000-08:00

went to la for the weekend to visit the in-laws. back home safe and sound, two plane rides later. damn, i hate planes.

to celebrate the fact that i made it home alive, i went shopping in internetland. and i didn't have to spend any money! here is what i just bought with my collection of amazon gift cards gifted to me by students:

apples for jam, tessa kiros (colorful cooking)
life artist, ali edwards (inspired scrapbooking)
in defense of food, michael pollan (berkeley's hero)
the creative family, amanda blake soule (more on this later)
lotta prints, lotta jansdotter (go sweden!)
the pregnancy book, martha and william sears (for theoretical purposes)

i love books. especially free ones. no novels, alas. but when jesse's novel gets published i will read that immediately.

stay tuned for an announcement about my latest project idea tomorrow...

overheard in first grade

2008-01-18T11:12:00.000-08:00

peaceful owl by elum letterpress.

the backstory: i have girls in my class with the same name. (i have two boys in my class with the same name, but this story isn't about them.). we deal with this in the classroom by using the first initial of their last names, like petunia a. and petunia b. (not their real names).

the story: this morning petunia and petunia informed me they were changing their names. many options were bandied about during, including my favorite, pony and squirrel, but they ultimately settled on cat and mouse. they made official nametags and everything.

then: another student came running up to me, very concerned. she said, "but they can't change their names! you can't change your name until you're 18 and they're only 6!"

very distressing.

get crafty

2008-01-16T16:02:00.001-08:00

images from the purl soho website. what a yummy website!

do these images not make you want to get crafty? i love the knitting needles especially. here are some crafty projects i'm inclined to do soon:

knit mark a scarf (need new smaller needles (9s?). must go to article pract.)
sew more coasters (must lug sewing machine out of closet)
think about sewing a skirt (find a pattern?)
print and frame a series of wedding pictures for an empty wall in our house
make the computer a more hospitable place for photos (figure out how to load pictures on computer, install new cd/dvd burner)
make a book on shutterfly for mark's nieces (our flower girls)
paint my toenails pink (very crafty)
take pictures around town of the magnolia and quince and cherry trees that are beginning to bud; make little book

the fact remains, i'd rather take a nap than get crafty. but perhaps it is time to try anyway.

bicyclette

2008-01-13T20:24:00.001-08:00

i got a bike!
it is blue!
it goes fast!
i love it!

also, we got a bird feeder. hello, chickadees!

sunday night is the worst thing ever invented, but the above news items cheer me greatly.

overheard in first grade

2008-01-10T11:42:00.000-08:00

teacher: so, what fruits grow in israel?

student #1: apples?

teacher: yes, what else?

student #2: falafel?

only at a jewish day school.

speaking of israel, we welcome sarah back to the bay area today. hooray!

things that sound nice

2008-01-09T09:49:00.000-08:00

baking bread

painting on a big canvas

knitting a poncho

making an apple pie

cello music

sloooow yoga (or maybe a nap)

jasmine biscotti

sitting on a mountaintop silently

cherry blossoms

magnolia trees

pink toenail polish
hot baths
green tea
new shoes
fires in the fireplace

i am having a hard time right now. it is sometimes hard to find and hold onto the idea of nice things, when things are feeling less than nice. so i'm trying remember the good stuff.

le cinema

2008-01-08T11:17:00.000-08:00

dude. have you seen juno?

dude. you have got to go see juno.

ahoy

2008-01-05T08:17:00.000-08:00

ranunculus greenhouse in israel

i am a bad blogger. i think i have run out of things to say. so, for the moment, i send you on an internet treasure hunt. enjoy!

read: http://www.forward.com/authors/marjorie-ingall/
play: http://www.encyclopediaofanordinarylife.com/
eat: http://eatgrub.org/
smell: http://www.pacificacandles.com/mexican-cocoa.asp
taste: http://sfzc.org/ggf/display.asp?catid=3,79,93&pageid=273
create: http://www.papress.com/

not sure what else today.

new year

2008-01-01T08:00:00.001-08:00

i do not like new year's eve, or any part of the american new year's celebration. as a family we have carved out a few new year's traditions that are pretty great (lobster!) but other than that, new year's eve has always seemed to serve as a reminder that time is running out. maybe it's the countdown right before midnight. it never seemed to me that this celebration is about ushering in a new year, just more about watching the old one slip away. i like beginnings. i do not like endings.

(note to abc execs who plan dick clark's new year's rockin' eve: some of us do not want to see previews for lost right before the ball comes down. especially previews that involve scenes of airplanes exploding in mid-air. nothing like ushering in the new year with a panic attack...)

one of the best things for me about tuning in to the jewish calendar has been that i've been able to completely let go of the secular new year and all of the attendant grumpiness. my new year was in september, so there. i don't have to use this moment in time to make any resolutions. ha. i do like the idea about having some pleasant intention for the year, or for whenever. i also like the idea of delightfully small and lovely resolutions like, "i plan to sample many varieties of cheese this year," or, "i will bake many pies." the thing about me is, i'm revising and refining and generating lists like that in my head all the time, so this morning i think i resolve to eat some oatmeal for breakfast and not tax myself too much with all this thinking.

as for the time running out part, i keep remembering something that sadie the fabulous yoga teacher says sometimes. she usually says it after we've held some impossible pose for an impossible length of time, and have all flopped down on our mats, huffing and puffing and not believing that that huge expanse of time and wobbly arms was only a minute, surely she has tricked us.

"see?" she says. "life is long."

vacation is

2007-12-25T18:54:00.000-08:00

necklace by jill platner- my extra special giftie today from mark (not my neck)

snow

movies

eating too much of too many yummy things

playing with the dog

wishing i had a dog

playing all manner of video games with my brothers

staying up late

indulging in cable tv

fires in the fireplace

baths in the big tub

curling up on the couch and reading

eating peanut butter and jelly on toasted english muffins and drinking milk

impromptu yoga

not having to do dishes

making gingerbread houses

playing guitar

knitting, slowly

snow

snow day

2007-12-24T07:56:00.000-08:00

from the snowy day by ezra jack keats

Today we woke up to a revolution of snow,

its white flag waving over everything,

the landscape vanished,

not a single mouse to punctuate the blankness,

and beyond these windows

the government buildings smothered,

schools and libraries buried, the post office lost

under the noiseless drift,

the paths of trains softly blocked,

the world fallen under this falling.

In a while I will put on some boots

and step out like someone walking in water,

and the dog will porpoise through the drifts,

and I will shake a laden branch,

sending a cold shower down on us both.

But for now I am a willing prisoner in this house,

a sympathizer with the anarchic cause of snow.

I will make a pot of tea

and listen to the plastic radio on the counter,

as glad as anyone to hear the news

that the Kiddie Corner School is closed,

the Ding-Dong School, closed,

the All Aboard Children's School, closed,

the Hi-Ho Nursery School, closed,

along with -- some will be delighted to hear --

the Toadstool School, the Little School,

Little Sparrows Nursery School,

Little Stars Pre-School, Peas-and-Carrots Day School,

the Tom Thumb Child Center, all closed,and -- clap your hands -- the Peanuts Play School.

So this is where the children hide all day,

These are the nests where they letter and draw,

where they put on their bright miniature jackets,

all darting and climbing and sliding,

all but the few girls whispering by the fence.

And now I am listening hard

in the grandiose silence of the snow,

trying to hear what those three girls are plotting,

what riot is afoot,

which small queen is about to be brought down.

-Billy Collins

winter solstice

2007-12-20T11:08:00.000-08:00

(snowflake pictures by wilson bentley)

when you startle awake in the dark morning
heart pounding breathing fast
sitting bolt upright staring into
dark whirlpool black hole
feeling its suction

get out of bed
knock at the door of your nearest friend
ask to lie down beside ask to be held

listen while whispered words
turn the hole into deep night sky
stars close together
winter moon rising over white fields
nearby a wren rustling dry leaves
distant owl echoing
two people walking up the road laughing

let your soul laugh
let your heart sigh out
that long held breath so hollow in your stomach
so swollen in your throat

already light is returning pairs of wings
lift softly off your eyelids one by one
each feathered edge clearer between you
and the pearl veil of day
you have nothing to do but live

-jody aliesan

overheard in first grade

2007-12-19T11:16:00.000-08:00

"for some reason, today isn't wednesday."

(this was said on tuesday.)

how to respond to such a comment?

sunday, an update

2007-12-16T21:09:00.000-08:00

i just had to say that i discovered the key to sewing: the rotary cutter! to hell with scissors. especially my stinky scissors. the rotary cutter comes with its good friend, the mat with all of the straight lines and measurements on it (yes, that is its technical name). i love sewing again! the lady at the sewing store was awesome. i am really into letting people know when i'm completely new at something and clueless, and it was another one of those conversations. she said, "what do you sew?" and i said, "nothing yet because i can't cut the fabric out straight." we got along famously after that. as i was leaving the store she said, "remember, it's just fabric! it helps to have some wine and m&ms, too, while you're sewing." amen to that.

anyhow. i made some crafty lovelies this afternoon. also i bought peonies at the grocery store. that is a picture of a peony, above. my peonies are even better than that one, because some are open and fluffy, and one is closed like a big pink golf ball. love it love it love it.

what i do not love: sunday evening. what i do love: my husband, on the couch, folding laundry and watching entourage. i think i will go join him.

i have not much to say today

2007-12-15T22:36:00.000-08:00

(lovely yellow heath tiles)

it's been a slow week, inspiration-wise. it's been more of a slog-through-it kind of a week. 'tis the season. i can't wait until winter solstice is over and it starts getting lighter again, ever so slowly.

here is what i am thinking about today:

one. sewing is hard! i made two extremely crappy projects yesterday, and one decent owl napkin. i have the worst pair of scissors on the planet. and i broke a needle. oops. here is the thing about sewing: it involves a lot of patience and precision. here is the thing about me: i don't like to measure, i can't cut in a straight line, and i have a very low boiling point when it comes to precise things. i'm not sure this is the best match. but i am determined to make some holiday gifties that don't suck, so i'm off to the fabric store to buy a rotary cutter, and i'll try again.

two. i am desperate to have a clean home. this is unprecedented for a slob like me. i want to do crazy harebrained (sp?) things like dust and give books away. so that's another project for today.

three. i used up all of my 5 class pass for yoga. hooray! this is the first time i've gotten a pass for a number of classes and actually used the thing, instead of going to one and then guilily slinking past the yoga studio for months afterward. in january, i might buy a 10 class pass. ooo.

four. (i worry tremendously about this blog being boring.)

five. i've been thinking a lot lately about the impact of routine and ritual in everyday life. i find routines that work to be greatly comforting. and creatively inspiring. for me, routines eliminate a lot of second guessing.

six. maybe twyla tharp would agree. here's what she has to say:

"i begin each day of my life with a ritual: i wake up at 5:30am, put on my workout clothes, my leg warmers, my sweatshirts, and my hat. i walk outside my manhattan home, hail a taxi, and tell the driver to take me the pumping iron gum at 91st street and first avenue, where i work out for two hours. the ritual is not the stretching and weight training i put my body through each morning at the gym; the ritual is the cab. the moment i tell the driver where to go i have completed the ritual." from the creative habit

ms. tharp likes commas almost as much as i do, non?

seven. notice please that the above quote is from a non-fictiony, personal narritavey sort of a book. over winter break, i will read a novel, for goodness sake. maybe even two. suggestions?

eight. i really must recommend canon, by ani difranco. it is a compilation of many old songs, and a few new ones. it is just the thing if you are too lazy to load all of your ani cds onto the computer with the broken cdrom drive and make a playlist. i had forgotten how much i love ani's music. once upon a time, i had a particularly dificult romance/disaster with someone who i wish i could have just sat down in a room with some speakers and said, "here. listen. ani's going to explain it all so i don't have to." (that sentence was just grammatically f*cked. i am getting stupid.)

also it is good sewing music. especially when you break your needle.

announcement

2007-12-13T18:46:00.000-08:00

my library school application is done! now all i need is her hair..

giant kids

2007-12-13T12:58:00.000-08:00

lovelies from the gardener, berkeley. even their website is art.

my school shares space with a preschool. today i was in the hall as the preschoolers were leaving to go home. two 4 year olds paused outside my classroom, and one said to the other, "in there? there are giant kids. they're even bigger than we are."

"ohhh," said the other one, duly impressed.

which just goes to show you that life is all a matter of perspective.

hunger

2007-12-12T18:13:00.000-08:00

looking at pictures of cookies is almost as good as eating them, right?

i was going to write about food. but mollie katzen did it for me:

"Picture a week night, say, a Tuesday in December. (What is it about Tuesdays?) You come home from a long, not particularly inspiring day, and you notice an unfriendly-seeming chill in the air. The days have become so short, the sun is practically gone by 4 pm, and the early darkness is making you feel a bit dreary, if not downright grumpy and verging on self-pity. You want a comforting dinner to welcome you home, but you didn't get around to shopping and you don't want to cook on this particular day, and your imaginary butler/cook/all-purpose servant is taking the day off. You are well aware that not wanting to cook does not mean not wanting to eat – in fact, au contraire! Furthermore, you are tempted to wonder if this inverse relationship is some kind of mean joke, or if it simply means we all, regardless of our age, still want our Mommy. We still want a loving maternal spirit (if not actual person) to anticipate and provide for our deepest yearning."

she follows this paragraph up by urging us to eat heated cheese in various forms. that is advice i can definitely get behind. hooray for cheese. speaking of, i want to go here. i am lucky to live close to here. i never met a cheese i didn't like.

is a pity that tonight's dinner doesn't include cheese. also it is a pity that i have to go cook tonight's dinner now.

tuesday

2007-12-11T12:56:00.000-08:00

san francisco by ork posters... so cool, n'est ce pas?

fabulous quote of the day:
"it's good to do uncomfortable things -- it's weight training for life." -anne lamott, traveling mercies

the quote that makes me want to tear my hair out and quit my job: "don't worry- she won't punish us. she'll just yell at us. we never get punished." -overheard in first grade. guess who "she" is?

a few of my favorite things...

2007-12-10T14:11:00.000-08:00

today i was having a free-association brainstorm about random things that i think are good. i love to make lists like this.

today's sampling:

snowballs (made from snow, also made by hostess)
catching snowflakes on your mitten and looking at them up close
mittens
these yellow cable knit handwarmers i saw a woman wearing at the blue bottle coffee kiosk at the farmer's market
blue bottle coffee
homemade strawberry jam
peanut butter and jelly sandwiches
cartwheels
cello music
swimming
rivers
this bag, in green
clean sheets just out of the dryer
peach pie
breyer's neapolitan ice cream (chocolate, vanilla, strawberry) in a box-- remember ice cream in a box? how it would leak out of the sides a little?
chocolate dipped soft serve cones from dairy queen
red shoes
hot cocoa
wooden bowls
oatmeal with bananas
my new birthday scarf
when someone packs me a lunch
quilts
a fresh box of crayons
the library
jasmine biscotti and blood orange shortbread from far leaves
poems by mary oliver and sharon olds
playing with clay
read aloud
milkshakes
reading the labels of these chocolate bars
snow angels
forts

"the things you like are very much what a 6 year old would like," someone said to me today. this was after i requested pie and a nap when i was supposed to be running on the treadmill.

sometimes the simplest delights are the smallest, though. and sometimes small people have the best perspective about that. so maybe my inner 6 year old is on to something.

that coachy magic

2007-12-09T10:46:00.000-08:00

although i am a self-professed slug about physical activity, there was a time in my life when i was actually sort of an athlete. i was on the fencing team in high school and also in college. i went to practice for many hours a week, ran laps, competed, and won the occasional medal/trophy thingie.

i really loved it. i liked the sport itself (still do, and i miss it), liked that the sport was intelligent and quirky, liked the camaraderie of being on a team (especially in college, where my teammates became my primary social network, and, in one case, the source of my then true love), and loved the competitive part (though i was a pretty angry competitor for a while, and used to get red-carded for throwing things).

(there were 9 commas in that sentence! booyah!)

what i loved the most about fencing, though, was having a coach. i am really never happier than when there is someone i can idolize who tells me what to do. not sure what that reveals about me, but it's the truth. i loved my fencing coaches. i had two great ones and one terrible one, and i loved them all. i would have done anything for them. i hung on their every word. i helped fix weapons after school. i wrote them limericks.

my assistant teacher this year was a coach at the elite collegiate level for many years, and when she teaches p.e. to the kids, i can see them respond to her in a way that they don't respond to anyone else. they don't complain, they don't poke each other. they listen. they try hard. it's that coachy magic. this past thursday, we had rainy day p.e. inside. after i lead the kids in a halfhearted and full-contact game of duck duck goose, my assistant organized them into teams and lead these full-tilt relays. there was yelling. and whistle blowing. and the kids were captivated. "i love when she's the boss of us," one of them sighed to me after class.

i was also thinking this weekend of how much i respond to having a teacher/coach, both at yoga yesterday and at spinning today. the teachers of these classes are very different, but both so inspiring in their own way. i do anything they say, except when it makes me fall over. i love being a student in the hands of a good teacher. it is really one of the best feelings i know.

(we won't discuss here how i feel tremendous guilt about being a "bad" teacher to my own students, especially given how important my teachers are to me. did i mention i'm supposed to be writing report cards right now?)

one of the reasons i am adamant about spending my time and money on working with a personal trainer, in addition to all of the health benefits, is the coach/athlete (or wannabe athlete) relationship that has emerged over time. i love my trainer. i would follow her to the ends of the earth, and then i would do push ups when i got there, if she told me to. i am about to sign up for a 5k and then a mini-triathlon, because i think it will make my trainer happy and proud of me. i don't know why, or if that's healthy, but it's true.

one of my coaches in college didn't like to be called "coach." instead, the team called him "captain," as in "oh captain, my captain" from walt whitman (or from dead poet's society, for you poetry illiterates out there). turns out that this was the terrible coach, but i loved the sentiment behind the title. that sense of allegiance was just so inspiring. that's what keeps me going to yoga/spinning/the gym.

with that, it is report card time. bah humbug.

getting curious, an update

2007-12-06T18:38:00.000-08:00

bun, also made by stephanie congdon barnes

a few weeks ago, i made a list of some new activities i was interested in maybe trying out. today i thought i'd write an update about said list. the full disclosure version of this story is that when i originally wrote the list in october, i fully intended to do all of the things on the list and come back here and chatter about how great they all were, and how i'm much more enriched and well-rounded and stuff. of course, life doesn't always happen quite the way we plan, and my report here is more of a work in progress. which is maybe a more genuine way to go.

my original list follows, with an update under each item:

one. start a new book
i did start a couple of books: a field guide to getting lost and taking charge of your fertility (a real page-turner, let me tell you). but i've only gotten peripherally into the first book, and am still a bit adrift, reading-wise. of course, i read picture books all day, and my two new favorites are cowboy and octopus by the amazing john sczieska and lane smith, and knuffle bunny too, by the fabulous mo willems.

two. find a new class to take at the y
i've watched the cardio hip-hop class a few times after spinning. that's about it. but i also got a copy of the new december schedule, so maybe this will be the month.

three. try a nia class
not yet. was going to. chickened out. i think i need a friend to go with.

four. get a bicycle
am deep into bike research. went to rei and rode a pink tricycle around the store. am contemplating this one, but need more information. my next step is to go to one of berkeley's many independent bike shops, and get some advice.

five. run a 5k
working on it. doing some interval training at the gym. i've got my sights set on this one. have not yet registered. that's next.

six. go to a meditation class
nope. know why? meditating sucks! it's hard. it's unpleasant. i donwanna.

seven. make my first project with the sewing machine
yes! i made some delightful picnic placemats, complete with a little pocket for silverware from this book. they're really cute. a little lopsided. i'm still very proud of them. this weekend's project: owl napkins.

eight. try acupuncture
yes- see earlier posts for a full report. i was a human pincushion. it was good. there will be more.

nine. take a beginning ballet class
this saturday. noon. i have shoes. wish me luck.

ten. get more information about librarian school
application is almost done. i should be sending it early next week.

it is interesting to me to notice which activities on the list i pursued, which i ignored, and which i struggled with. might not be interesting to you, but hey, it's my blog. so there. i find these sorts of brainstormy lists very helpful, especially when i'm feeling stuck. they reveal the things that are not quite ready yet to be, the little inklings of what's to come. and they remind me that things don't always have to stay the way they are, that change is possible, even if the changes are small.

today's inklings include visiting a modern art museum and baking oatmeal cookies and writing letters and tasting many kinds of honey and reading poetry and buying a sparkly dress and taking pictures of the insides of flowers and finding time for a tremendous nap. who knows what will be next?

cold poem

2007-12-05T19:59:00.000-08:00

Cold now.

Close to the edge. Almost

unbearable. Clouds

bunch up and boil down

from the north of the white bear.

This tree-splitting morning

I dream of his fat tracks,the lifesaving suet.

I think of summer with its luminous fruit,

blossoms rounding to berries, leaves,

handfuls of grain.

Maybe what cold is, is the time

we measure the love we have always had, secretly,

for our own bones, the hard knife-edged love

for the warm river of the I, beyond all else; maybe

that is what it means the beauty

of the blue shark cruising toward the tumbling seals.

In the season of snow,

in the immeasurable cold,

we grow cruel but honest; we keep

ourselves alive,

if we can, taking one after another

the necessary bodies of others, the many

crushed red flowers.

Mary Oliver

hedgehogs

2007-12-05T11:16:00.000-08:00

hedgie made by stephanie congdon barnes

my hedgehog story is this: thanks to zoe, i stumbled across this woman's website. she makes cute little crafy critters, like the hedgehog above. i am crazy for this hedgehog. i have been crazy for hedgehogs lately, ever since i got these sticky notes, with the hedgehog prominently featured (you naysayers out there will say that it is a porcupine, but really, i can't hear you).

anyhow. this woman who makes the hedgehogs also makes other delightful thingies, like bunnies and soft trees and mushrooms. she sells them online at etsy. she put some items up for sale this morning and they sold out in about 8 minutes. no hedgehogs, alas. i am sad. i thought today was the day i would get a hedgehog. ah well.

i suppose i am a little sad today in general. not just about hedgehogs.

but on a happier note. a story from yesterday. i was walking in berkeley near the hospital, and i saw a man coming into the hospital from the parking garage. he had a few bags of gifty looking somethings, and was pushing an empty stroller. which i thought was odd for a moment. because usually if someone is pushing an empty stroller, there is a small someone nearby, even if they're not in the stroller. but there was no small someone. and then i realized: he was going into the hospital to pick up a small someone, someone who was so new that they hadn't yet been in a stroller. that made me smile.

i like small things like hedgehogs and brand new people. i wish they were not quite so hard to come by.

rainy day recess

2007-12-04T09:24:00.000-08:00

it's raining here at school, so we are having inside recess. some people are drawing, some are building with legos, some are whining. i am choosing to write this during inside recess.

i've been noticing that i'm feeling in a bit of a rut, and am finding it hard to think of blog-worthy topics. i am feeling the itch to create something-- to knit or sew or bake a cake or paint or i don't know. something.

i woke up this morning thinking about far-flung jobs i'm interested in, and thought about what life might be like if i was:

an electrician

a scientific illustrator, for field guides and such

a poet

a baker

a florist

an art therapist

a buddhist monk

a food stylist

a farmer

a rockstar

in related career news, i talked to someone at the library school that i'm interested in, and she was so mean on the phone. like, objectively mean. not just in my head mean. it took me a few minutes, but i decided that this woman was not a reason not to become a librarian. but golly, she was mean. hard not to feel a little discouraged by that though, even though everyone else i've ever spoken to there has been sweet as pie.

inside recess is over. time to go sing.

after the gym

2007-12-02T12:18:00.000-08:00

(temescal farmers' market. images courtesy of kqed. soon i will make my camera work.)

so after all that grumbling (see previous whinypost), i did go to the gym for spinning class. i'm glad i went-- isn't that always the way it goes? why is it so hard to see positive outcomes before they happen? spinning class really deserves its own post at some point, because it is such a delightful experience to attend, aside from the exercising part.

after spinning i went to the farmers' market. usually we go to the berkeley farmers' market on saturdays, but since we were getting drunk in napa at 10 in the morning yesterday, we missed it. instead i went to the temescal farmers' market in north oakland, which was quite lovely. i am a fool for the farmers' market. every time i go, i get so happy about living in the bay area. i got all kinds of organic yummies, including ruby crescent fingerling potatoes, little gem lettuce, baby broccoli shoots, green beans, baby carrots, chard, spinach, pink lady apples, and strawberries. in december. from local farms. boo on global warming but hooray for fresh strawberries in december that are not from chile.

after the farmers' market, i went to whole foods. this was a good combination because life at whole foods turned out to be much less expensive than usual, since most of my shopping was already done when i got there.

now i am back at home. still not feeling so great but glad the gym part of the day is out of the way. i'm cooking oatmeal and hunting around for magic homeopathic remedies to help me not get sick. thinking about cleaning out the closets but will probably just hunker down and watch rivers and tides. or entourage. my favorite guilty pleasure.

more posts to come this week, featuring a first ballet class, a birthday party, my new approach to cleaning, and rhapsodies about hedgehogs. to say nothing of what the first graders might say at school. also, hopefully, pictures from my very own camera.

both cats just came inside. the oatmeal's ready. happy sunday.

before the gym

2007-12-02T08:28:00.000-08:00

(cafe au lait from cafe fanny, berkeley. another photo i did not take.)

i'm tired. i feel sort of vaguely stuffy, and my throat hurts. i really don't want to go to the gym. sunday is spinning day, and i know i should go (oh, that pesky should) and i really don't want to. i hate sundays. there's always so much to do and not enough time and it's sort of dark out and isn't that a good enough reason to stay inside? there are all kinds of things i could do instead of going to the gym. i could take a bath and watch rivers and tides and do work for work and by the way why haven't i finished that library school application yet? i could organize the bookshelves if i stayed. i could drink tea. i could go back to bed. i do not like this. it is not fair that other people in my house get to go to a bar and drink bloody marys and watch football and i have to go to the gym. i am generally just feeling dreary and blah.

before dawn

2007-11-30T06:46:00.000-08:00

(the above images are scenes from miette in san francisco, where i very much want to visit... or apply for their baking internship!)

"be still, and the world is bound to turn herself inside out to entertain you. everywhere you look, joyful noise is clanging to drown out quiet desperation. the choice is draw the blinds and shut it all out, or believe."
-barbara kingsolver, high tide in tuscon

happy

2007-11-28T11:15:00.000-08:00

a few things i've been thinking of lately that make me happy:

one. the movie rivers and tides, about the artist andy goldsworthy (creator of the above image), arriving in the mail from netflix today.

two. an upcoming trip to the yarn store to pick out yarn for a (purple!)scarf for mark and maybe also to buy viva poncho.

three. the charlie and lola books by lauren child. especially this one.

four. the fried chicken sandwiches from bakesale betty. with a free cranberry scone on the side. holy cow.

five. looking at the beautiful loveliness here.

six. an upcoming napa getaway this weekend, where there might be mudbaths.

seven. the husband. especially.

thirty

2007-11-26T07:46:00.000-08:00

thirty things to do while i am thirty:

get a bike. ride it lots.
learn how to roast a chicken
have a baby
visit italy; ride a vespa along the amalfi coast
volunteer at the edible schoolyard; work on a farm; learn about sustainable agriculture
get better at chataranga and bakasana in yoga
get a school library credential; become a school librarian
bake a lemon meringue pie
learn to drive stick shift
develop a regular meditation practice
learn to read and speak in hebrew
visit esalen in big sur
take guitar lessons again
plant a garden
eat at the french laundry
do a seattle/portland/vancouver road trip with mark
bake jesse's magic bread-in-a-pot
take a ballet class
be less afraid of flying
do a mini-triathlon
sew a bag, a skirt, and owl napkins
join a csa
do 20 push ups in a row without falling over
go kayaking in point reyes
find a more regular spiritual practice and a spiritual community
explore more
worry less
stay at hope cottage at green gulch farm
spend lots of time with my family
eat the occasional joyous cupcake

birthday

2007-11-26T07:14:00.000-08:00

to paraphrase e.e. milne, now i am 30. today is my birthday. i had a delightful weekend of family and celebrations and surprises and tastes of the above arrangement of ice creamy goodness at cafe gray, in new york. my dearest friends showed up to surprise me. i got a new green birthday coat. the plane flights were uneventful. it was good.

so now i am 30. i have been looking forward to this birthday for a long time. i don't like birthdays generally. i feel a little burdened by the passage of time, usually, like it's running out. but i am happy as a clam to be 30. it feels good. it feels like maybe some of the tsuris of the last decade is behind me. we shall see.

i don't have to go to work today, which is delightful. i get to spend the day with mark. on the agenda: breakfast at cafe fanny, a trip to golden gate park to visit the de young museum, the japanese tea garden, and the dahlias, and dinner with friends at pizzaiolo. and maybe a side trip to rei to look at the bikes. and i've been told there might be some surprises too. three cheers for birthdays.

radio silence

2007-11-24T11:01:00.001-08:00

i am:
at home
playing video games
eating turkey
seeing friends
walking the dog
collecting yellow leaves
adventuring with siblings
doing pilates
going to the symphony
playing scrabble
experiencing slow internet
enjoying a few days off.

more soon.

prelude to lost

2007-11-21T12:32:00.000-08:00

for the past few days, i have been thinking about a story i know. when i first heard it in israel, the context was that it was jewish in origin, but i'm sure many folk traditions have some version of the same thing. the story goes like this:

once upon a time there was a woman. one night, she was walking home from town, and it was dark outside. as she neared her home, she stepped on a snake lying in the road. she screamed, suprised and scared, and ran the rest of the way home. she couldn't sleep at all that night. she couldn't shake the feeling of being terrified by the snake.

the next morning, she slowly ventured outside, now completely anxious about seeing another snake. she walked slowly and carefully. she was scared. until she came upon the place where she had stepped on the snake the night before. she looked down and saw a stick on the road in exactly the same place where the snake had been. she looked again. the stick was the same shape as the snake she had seen. the woman realized that there hadn't been a snake at all, that the thing that had terrified her and kept her up all night and made her scared to leave her house was nothing but a stick.

so the questions that follow are: what snakes in our lives are really just sticks? what are the things that we worry about needlessly? what are the things that are different upon reflection than they first seemed? and where can we make the world a little less scary for ourselves by recognizing what's really there, as opposed to what our mind spins?

i've been thinking about this story this week because i know what my biggest "snake" is. i am terrified of flying in airplanes. and tonight i'm getting on a plane to go home for thanksgiving. so i've been spending the week so far worrying, and also eating a lot of helpful things like brownies. i know rationally that my response to flying is not proportional to the act itself. but fear isn't a rational thing. i feel really stuck in it, and really dumb and sheepish about it all.

i don't have any silver lining here. i'm just experimenting with writing about the not-so-good stuff too, along with telling you that i made my first placemats with the sewing machine and that my birthday is monday and i don't have to go to school, and that i will see my family soon and there will be mashed potatoes.

and i just really hope that someday i will be less afraid.

lost

2007-11-21T06:56:00.000-08:00

"how do you calculate upon the unforseen? it seems to be an art of recognizing the role of the unforseen, of keeping your balance amid surprises, of collaborating with chance, of recognizing that there are some essential mysteries in the world and thereby a limit to calculation, to plan, to control."

-from a field guide to getting lost, rebecca solnit

overheard on skype

2007-11-18T14:32:00.000-08:00

skype is pretty amazing. it lets you chat (both computer-chat and actually talk) to people who are far away, through the computer, for free. i don't know how it works. it is computer magic.

but it's a good thing, because my dear friend sarah is far away. she used to live in my house, and now she lives in israel. that qualifies as far away. but sometimes we get to skype, which is good.

sarah says many things that are wise, funny, or both at the same time. witness the comments below, from our most recent discussion about how i want to have babies but don't think i'm grow up enough:

[2:30:33 PM] rivkah says: I can’t have babies. i can hardly pack myself a lunch in the morning and im thinking i can have babies? nutso.

[2:31:04 PM] sarah kotleba says: oh you can so totally have babies. babies don't eat packed lunches.

sarah is awesome.

rambling

2007-11-18T12:10:00.000-08:00

today i got up early to go to the gym for spinning class. this spinning is of the stationary bike variety, as opposed to the kind of spinning they do in the 4 year olds ballet class that takes place at the same time. damn, those 4 year olds are cute. tutus and all.

anyhow. the gym was closed this morning, due to some mechanical something or other. so i came home and got very cranky. i had an idea that i would go out for a walk, but all of a sudden it got very hard to do anything but sit and be cranky, and feel prematurely guilty about the walk that i was not going to take. so i decided not to walk, since i felt so cranky.

these are moments where it helps to have a partner who will, ever so lovingly, tie your shoes and literally drag you out the door by the hand. so i went for a walk.

note to self for next time: it took precisely 30 seconds to go from feeling cranky to, "hey, i'm on a walk! this is sort of nice..."

i walked up into the berkeley hills, and it was lovely. there are enough little streets that one can wander properly, seeing new things without feeling lost. the weather has been so wonky that the trees can't seem to figure out what season it is. the magnolias are starting to bloom here and there, about 3 months early. the japanese maples, however, are right on schedule and are so red. they look like something out of a crayola box. after i came home i ate some yogurt and am drinking tea and am about to try and sew some napkins. i feel much less cranky.

there's no real end to this story. my question for myself (and for you, if you like) this morning is: where are the places where we get stuck and unable to do things that we know will make us feel better? what are the benefits to staying stuck? what are the liabilities? and how can we find the emotional equivalent of dragging ourselves out the door?

ps- the napkins will have owls and chickens on them. wish me luck...

field trip!

2007-11-15T20:15:00.000-08:00

we went to the library on a class trip today. it's national children's book week, after all. dear me, i love libraries. highlights included one student dancing around at the circulation desk, singing, "i got a library card! i got a library card!"

the above pin is what i got in the mail today. it is meant for small children. i couldn't care less. i am off to work on my application and play the guitar.

ps- national children's book week is almost over. your homework for today? go to a library.

overheard in the car

2007-11-15T20:12:00.001-08:00

i am lucky enough to have a most delightful almost-9 year old with whom i carpool to school each morning. she says many blog-worthy things every day, but since i arrive at her house at 6:50am, i am not always so present and accounted for mentally, and often can't remember the gems. today i did:

"you know, my pen pal and i have so much in common! we both like steak, and we both have a cat! hers is real and mine is imaginary."

and

"i can't stand 3/4 length sleeves. how can any self-respecting person make bunny paws with 3/4 length sleeves?"

i have the best carpool buddy ever.

postscript

2007-11-14T21:01:00.000-08:00

perhaps inspired by the literary theme of the week, i finally called the library school i've got my eye on today. i asked all of my questions and got good answers, and i started working on the application during a free moment at school. whee! one step closer to being a professional book nerd.

national children's book week, day three

2007-11-14T20:47:00.000-08:00

there's really not much to say. these are my favorite children's books ever. ever. i love frances. these books are literary gold.

a few favorite lines, often quoted in my nerdy household:

"i can hardly understand what you're saying," said father. "is there something in your mouth?"
"i think maybe there is bubble gum," said frances. "but i do not know how it got there." -a birthday for frances

"well, things are not very good around here," said frances. "no clothes to wear, no raisins for the oatmeal. i think maybe i'll run away." -a baby sister for frances

"there is a giant in my room. may i watch television?" "no," said mother. "the giant is trying to get me. may i have some cake?" -bedtime for frances

"alice has no birthday. she will not have h-r-n-d. she will not have g-k-l-s." "what are h-r-n-d and g-k-l-s?" said mother. "cake and candy. i thought you could spell," said frances. -a birthday for frances

oh, and there's more, about lobster salad sandwiches, and a little tiny truck in a little tiny box, and a coffee can full of gravel, and spagetti. they are so good.

ps- your question for the day: what is your favorite children's book ever? why?

pps- i actually did pass 8th grade english and know how to make proper paragraphs when writing dialogue. blogger is not cooperating. please excuse my slapdash paragraph making. and don't tell my 8th grade english teacher.

national children's book week, day one

2007-11-12T19:03:00.000-08:00

if you are not a librarian or an elementary school teacher or a parent or someone who works in the publishing world, you may not be aware that it is national children's book week this week. hooray! i love celebrating books. i am a fool for books. especially children's books. i like them way better than a lot of grownup books, actually.

and so... i thought i would present a few of my very favorites this week. beginning with... don't let the pigeon drive the bus!

you don't know this book? this book is fabulous. you should rush right out to your local library and borrow it, along with its siblings, the pigeon finds a hot dog and don't let the pigeon stay up late.

i love the pigeon because s/he is a smartass. a very clever one, at that. each book follows a simliar formula. the pigeon tries to convince you, the reader, to let him do whatever it is he is forbidden to do. the pigeon is very convincing. this is one of those books that kids love and adults won't get tired of because it is clever and witty. kids love this book. it was written and illustrated by mo willems, who is this hipsterish sort of dad who lives in brooklyn. he has written other kids' books too, but the pigeon books are my favorites. you really should stop reading this blog and go scooty scoot scoot and find a copy right now.

p.s. i would love to hear from you fine folks out in cyberspace (do we still say cyberspace? i felt very 1992 there for a moment) about your favorite children's books. so my question for you today is... what is the first book you ever remember reading/hearing? what do you remember about it? have you revisited it as an adult?

119

2007-11-12T18:40:00.003-08:00

you may remember that 119 was the magic number of vitamin thingies i am supposed to swallow in a week. madness. but i finally did it, and, as promised to myself, i got prizes! behold!

and

prizes of the stationery sort are my favorite kind. and today was parent-teacher conference day so of course i needed a prize for that, so i picked up some toasty legwarmers on the way home. between them and the ballet shoes, i am fully outfitted to dance from the knees down. this is progress. i love prizes. such fun.

p.s. my next prize might need to be for the chinese herbs i'm now taking. they are not so tasty. wish me luck.

stuck

2007-11-10T08:19:00.000-08:00

here is what i wish i could do this weekend: go to yoga, eat blueberry pancakes, take myself on a walnut square playdate (which will be blogged about later but involves cupcakes, boots, and swanky paper goods), watch more west wing season 2, sew, make a fire in the fireplace, go shopping for new pants and spinning shoes, take a ballet class, go running with mark and visit the chickens.

here is what i am doing instead: preparing for parent-teacher conferences, trying to sit still because i had a wee surgical thingie done on my back yesterday and i am trying to avoid an ugly scar. so no yoga, no moving my arms of any kind. just conference prep. but not really conference prep because i have been sitting in front of the computer for an hour google-stalking people whose lives seem more exciting than mine. this is a not a good sign. this is the beginning of the end for me. also there is the matter of those pesky wedding thank you notes. and library school research. and bill paying. but mostly conference prep.

on the upside: i get to have brunch with some lovely ladies today. the house is clean. and so far i have taken all of my vitamins every day this week so i am entitled to a prize this weekend. maybe a trip to rei to look at the bikes... also there are about 8 million things to be grateful for this morning, and if i stopped to count i could list about 7 million here.

so perhaps: i will brew a pot of tea, make oatmeal, and prep 5 conferences now, take a break to have brunch, stop at lululemon on the way home to admire the delights (and maybe get myself a prize?), prep 5 more conferences, take a walk to see the chickens, prep 2 or 3 more conferences and do something glamorous at night like sprawl on the couch watching movies with the husband, while eating something that i did not cook. perhaps i will not beat myself up for not going to yoga. perhaps i will not waste time lurking on the internet. perhaps i will buy some dahlias.

it is so tempting to spend time feeling cranky about conferences or about my back. and yet, this is what is right now. maybe there's a way to understand that without all of the attendant drama and crankiness that seems to announce itself so stridently ("i don't like my job!" "if i skip yoga today i will get fat and feel grumpy!" "it's not fair!" ). perhaps today can be an experiment about just doing what needs to be done without feeling tortured or avoiding the to-do list and teaching myself to juggle instead.

incidentally: i do know how to juggle, a little. i took an acting class in college and on the first day of class the professor told us, "if you learn to juggle in my class this semester, you'll get an a. if you don't, you'll fail." i learned to juggle.

hey baby, what's your dosha?

2007-11-08T11:40:00.000-08:00

maybe it's a result of living in the bay area, or maybe i'm looking for something i haven't found yet, or maybe i'm just impressionable, but i find that i am interested in all sorts of "alternative" approaches to wellness and healing (one starts saying things like "wellness" and "healing" after living in berkeley for 5 years, i think). a brief list of things i've tried include massage (swedish, shiatsu, cranial-sacral, reflexology), reiki, acupuncture, chinese herbs, hypnosis, therapy, homeopathy, and ayurveda, which is a system of traditional indian medicine.

(a disclaimer: i am by no means an expert on ayurveda. i am still constructing my knowledge about it, but i will share what i sort of know here.)

according to ayurveda, there are three "doshas," or basic constitutions or types. everyone is some combination of these doshas; in most people one set of characteristics is more dominant than the other two. you might be a vata (thin, energetic, with a tendency toward anxiety at times), pitta (intense, firey, hot all the time, with a strong, sharp appetite), or kapha (thoughtful, slow to anger, heavy sleep, tendency to feel depressed). all three doshas have positive components, and also specific ways that they can be out of balance. if you are interested, you can take a little quiz to find out more about your dosha here. (i am a kapha, needless to say.)

one of the reasons i love the idea of this system is that i think people sort of are the way they are. some people are sort of mellow, some people are really intense. some people love to sleep, some people don't. while i think it's good to try to improve oneself, to try and examine and transform habits or inclinations that may not be self-serving, this idea of some basic personality that doesn't--and maybe doesn't need to-- change is so refreshing to me. it is refreshing in my personal life, and also it is very helpful at school. teaching is about 8 million things, and one of them is managing very different personalities. the kid who rolls around on the rug every morning is probably not going to turn into a kid who sits calmly at her desk. i find that when i can remember this, i spend less of the day feeling cranky.

in slightly related news: i am going to spend a month not eating sugar or refined flour, to see if the crankiness improves. an exception will be made for birthday cake.

overheard in first grade...

2007-11-06T12:52:00.000-08:00

today's gems:

"my baby sister is so good at crawling, it's like she has a master's in crawling. it's like she has a phd in crawling."

and

after hearing a story in which a character borrows a cup of sugar:
"i couldn't lend him any sugar because we don't have any sugar at my house, but we do have xylitol."

and

"are you getting pregnant or not?"
to which i replied, after being dumbstruck for several moments,
"well, probably not today."

go speed racer

2007-11-05T21:28:00.000-08:00

my birthday is soon.

i really want a bike.

that is all for today.

pins and needles

2007-11-03T16:07:00.001-07:00

after school yesterday i went on a field trip to the sewing store and to acupuncture for the first time. both experiences were a little nerve-wracking, interesting, and ultimately ones i'll repeat in the future. the nice lady at the sewing store helped me find the right bobbins (fantastic word, bobbin). acupuncture was performed by the fabulous and magical bronwyn, so i knew i was in good hands. other than panicking that there was going to be an earthquake while i was alone resting with needles stuck in me pincushion-style, it turned out to be just fine.

now i am off to wind my bobbins and boil up the chinese herbs i am to take every day for the next week. since i have to go to work tomorrow (boo hiss), i am doing only fun things today. on the schedule: sadieyoga, tea at bittersweet, a picnic at the farmer's market, sewing, and one-month-of-being-married-almost dinner at lulu with the husband. hooray for saturday.

pure joy, everytime

2007-11-01T11:30:00.000-07:00

do you like scrabble?
do you play scrabble?
do you wish that you played scrabble more?

i present to you scrabulous.com. free, online scrabble! waste more time at work!

i happen to love odd made up words that are combinations of other words. my new brother-in-law's new dog is a mix between a yorkshire terrier and a chihuahua. a yorkiwawa! scrabble is so fabulous, it's scrabulous. hooray!

the other thing i love about this website is the tag line at the top of the page when you load a game. it says:

the most amazing website for free, relaxed, online scrabble - experience pure joy, everytime.

i love this. who doesn't want to experience pure joy, everytime (sic)?

right now, i am playing a game with my mom and brother (i will almost definitely lose) and with jesse (i will absolutely definitely lose). the first graders are delighted by this, because usually i try to make a move or two while they're eating lunch. they try to suggest words, which is endearing but not very helpful.

i tend to be viciously competitive about board games. like, it's an active struggle for me not to cheat at candyland with my 4 year old niece. if i lose at trivial pursuit or scattergories, things get ugly (come to think of it, i'm not sure i've ever lost at trivial pursuit or scattergories). but for some reason, i don't mind losing at scrabble. i think it's because i know i'm not very good at it, so i don't have any expectations that i will win or do well. it's sort of refreshing, actually.

if anyone else wants to play, email me and i will invite you for a game. you'll probably win.

k-i-s-s-i-n-g

2007-10-31T21:41:00.000-07:00

we are patiently waiting to get our wedding pictures back from the photographer. today she sent us a "teaser" picture-- a wee sample of what's to come. et voila:

my conversation with the woman at the dance store

2007-10-31T21:34:00.000-07:00

me: i'm looking for ballet shoes?
her: okay, where do you dance?
me: i don't dance anywhere yet. i need the shoes first.

i realized yesterday that there was this dancewear store on the same block where i've been a million times. for some reason, yesterday was the day. i got this internal nudge, like, don't overthink it- dash in there and buy ballet shoes now. so i did. the salespeople were not that friendly, but even that was okay.

now i have ballet shoes. i put them on last night and demonstrated the 5 positions and tendu and degagé for mark in the kitchen. i am such a good ballerina in the kitchen. whether i actually try to take a class and dance in pseudo-public is another matter entirely. but at least now i have the shoes.

and sometimes the accessories make all the difference.

inspiration, procrastination

2007-10-30T16:29:00.000-07:00

as we have discussed already, sometimes when one is feeling sluggish and uninspired, restless and uneasy, one needs to rest, relax, and ease up on all of the world's stimuli. other times, one needs to get up, go and do something new and get more stimulation from the world. for me, the way to feel better is always the second way, though all i really want to do is curl up on the couch much of the time.

so. i submit to you a little bit of armchair inspiration. these are corners of the internet i like to visit when i am getting ready to find something inspiring to do, and i need to give myself a little nudge.

pretty things to look at:
http://3191.visualblogging.com/
a year of mornings. my new favorite.
www.kuperblog.com
discovered when i was looking for a wedding photographer. so fun and lovely.
http://snippetandink.blogspot.com/
also a little wedding-y, but hopefully you'll forgive me. inspiring and yummy combinations of color.

projects to make, places to go, things to buy
www.dailycandy.com
when i want to pretend i am a hipster
http://www.moo.com/products/
is there anything better than make your own stickers?
www.flipclips.com
my next project
http://www.papeteriedelice.com
i love the wish books!

nerdy internet delights
http://gnooks.com/
waste time at work!
www.goodreads.com
waste time and feel a little smarter
www.43things.com
waste a weekend

la poesie!
can't give away too many favorite poetry sites- must wait until april (national poetry month, of course). in the meantime, enjoy these
http://www.loc.gov/poetry/180/
http://www.favoritepoem.org

getting the koach back

2007-10-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

i am, as they say, on the mend. i am mending. i am able to sit up and type now, and i can watch cooking shows without feeling nauseous (which is good because the only cable station we get is the food network-- more on that another time).

my parents are in town visiting, which is fabulous. so we are off to rick and ann's for brunch (where i will drink tea and watch the potato-cheese pancakes go by) and then maybe to 4th street or the farmer's market or to visit the chickens (much more on the chickens later). dinner will be at oliveto (where i will drink tea and watch the tagliatelle go by).

do you notice how, even though i am sick and not eating, i've planned the whole day to revolve around food? old habits die hard...

but more to the point of what i want to say this morning. there is a hebrew word, koach (both syllables are pronounced; it sounds something like: ko' (long o, emphasis on this syllable) - ach (insert gutteral hebrew sounding sound here). i believe koach literally means strength (ms. kotleba, can you confirm?), but in my house we use it to mean energy or inclination toward a specific task. "i don't have the koach to do the dishes, but let's go to the gym now, before i lose my koach." let it be noted that this is a completely inaccurate use of the word. but it suits us. more on the misappropriation of hebrew words in my house later.

one thing i struggle with often, as my dear husband can tell you, is finding the koach do things, both of the dishes variety and also of the fun stuff variety. it can be a problem.

so. since i have been sick, i have not had much koach for anything, but i am hoping that in a few more days i will again be excited to sew and explore and glue little bits of things to other things and finally learn more guitar chords and cook soup and read books and go to the gym and jump in some fall leaves. i get worried that that feeling of koach will not return, as it can be elusive sometimes. but i think i'm going to chalk this lack of energy up to being sick, and wait and see.

if you don't hear from me in a few days, send a search party.

i've been looking so long at these pictures of you

2007-10-27T10:33:00.001-07:00

in first grade we talk a lot about making mental images, especially when we are reading. visualizing a story in one's head while reading or hearing a story is a powerful comprehension tool.

this blog has no pictures so far, so you have had lots of practice making mental images. good for you. you get an a.

however. i have actually been taking lots of pictures to show and tell you about, of the fire dancing class at the crucible, of the pies at lola's, of the cutest mugs you've ever seen (they have sweaters!), and of my favorite graffiti in berkeley. but these images are trapped on my camera because i lost the cable that connects my camera and my computer. rats.

so now i want to get one of those thingies where you can take your memory card out of the camera and plug it into the thingie which is plugged into the computer and it zaps your pictures onto the computer (clearly i am a computer expert, based on the number of times the word "thingie" appeared in the previous sentence). what are those things called? does anyone have one? does anyone have one that s/he likes and recommends? i'd be much obliged if you shared your knowledge with me, as i clearly have none.

radio silence

2007-10-25T08:23:00.001-07:00

i am sick. that is why i have not posted in a few days. i look forward to being able to sit up for more than 5 minutes at a time, and also to sharing more rambling with you.

in the meantime, the quote that keeps running through my head is the one from the devil wears prada: "i'm only one stomach flu away from reaching my goal weight!"

indeed.

a spoonful of sugar...

2007-10-22T07:33:00.001-07:00

on a completely self-absorbed and mundane note (as if the rest of this blog isn't?):

i have this thing about taking vitamins. i don't, because i really can't swallow pills. i am not like my younger brother who can put a pile of 'em in his mouth and they're gone in one fell swoop, no water needed. it takes me a long time.

and, due less to the fact that anything is particularly wonky internally and more because i seem go to so many nutritionally-minded doctors, i have quite an assortment of vitamins and supplements i'm supposed to take each day.

17 a day. for me, this is a lot. and i don't do it.

so last night, while watching planet earth, i dutifully counted all of the various pills out into my grandma-style plastic pill boxes and made a decision to try and take them all this week. and yes, i did the math. 17 a day times 7 days is 119 things to swallow. and if i get through all 119 this week, i want a Big Prize.

so now you know. hasn't your day been enriched by this information?

getting curious

2007-10-21T18:48:00.000-07:00

so zoe turned me on to a new yoga class. it is taught by a woman named sadie, who i find to be quite delightful. i like sadie because her classes are challenging without being impossible, because she looks like a real person and not some impossibly willowy yogini, and because she is constantly encouraging us to "get curious" about yoga poses and our bodies.

"get curious about moving your hips in down dog," she'll say. or, "i want you to get curious about how it feels to hold plank pose for a full minute."

there's something about this phrase, this idea of getting curious that sticks with me. i am someone who, in life and in yoga class, is constantly looking around to see what everyone else is up to, evaluating who is doing better than i am, and generally checking in to see how i measure up and what i'm doing wrong. something about the idea of merely getting curious seems to help me let myself off the hook a little. every time i hear sadie say it, i feel a little more space open up between my shoulder blades and in my mind.

i am intrigued by the idea that i might be able to explore new corners of life without any specific goal in mind, and without specific expectations for myself about how i should perform. if it's for the sake of curiosity, then maybe life becomes a little bit less of a competition in which i'm always worried about falling behind, and more of a grand experiment.

with that framework in mind, i've come up with a list of ten things that i am curious about getting curious about. this is different than a to do list, because i may pursue these items and i may not, and i'm trying to just see what happens. i think i'll give myself about a month to be curious about these things, and then check back in and see what, if anything, has developed.

i am getting curious about:
one. starting a new book (suggestions, anyone?)
two. finding a new class to take at the y (kickboxing? aikido?)
three. trying a nia class even though the thought of it is slightly terrifying
four. getting a bicycle even though i am a slightly wobbly rider
five. running a 5k
six. going to a meditation class
seven. making my first project with the sewing machine (which i just learned how to use yesterday! whee!)
eight. trying acupuncture (also a little terrifying)
nine. taking a beginning ballet class (scarier than acupuncture needles)
ten. getting more information about librarian school

what are you curious about?

p.s. my use of punctuation will be addressed in a future post. for now, let it just be said that i am in love with the comma and my writing is extra splicy. so there. hopefully you english teachers and copy editors will forgive me.

two folks, two blogs

2007-10-20T16:45:00.000-07:00

i submit for your consideration:

sarah's blog:
http://goneawaysomewhere.blogspot.com/

sarah is a brave adventurer. she is and has been a: third grade teacher, a calligrapher, and a hog calling champion. read all about her year in the world.

michael's blog:
http://whyweplay.blogspot.com/

read about the intersection of video games, contemporary culture, and saving the world. brought to you by the person who was able to make our parents finally break down and get us a super nintendo. watch his movie, too.

p.s. - is it not strange that my brother and i, without any prior discussion, each started a new blog the same week?

overheard in first grade

2007-10-19T11:11:00.000-07:00

in which i present some of the whimsical tidbits of wisdom and strangeness that i hear from my students. this is definitely a perk of my job (good to remember that there are some).

one.
"guess what? i was born on may 16, and my birthday is also on may 16! isn't that a coincidence?"

two.
"i don't understand. why is everyone getting things from peru?"

it is a surrealist stew, i tell you.

on the other hand...

2007-10-19T11:04:00.000-07:00

i have been thinking about this:

"of course, we all inevitably work too hard, then we get burned out and have to spend the whole weekend in our pajamas, eating cereal straight out of the box and staring at the TV in a mild coma (which is the opposite of working, yes, but not exactly the same thing as pleasure)."

from eat, pray, love by elizabeth gilbert

and this:

"after an eight-hour day at my chosen profession, enough is enough. i'm ready to spend the next two or three somewhere else, preferably outdoors, moving my untethered limbs to a worldly beat...the opposite of work is play, also an active verb. it could be tennis or bird-watching, so long as it's meditative and makes you feel better afterward."

from animal, vegetable, miracle by barbara kingsolver

i am very good (and very well-practiced) at sloth. my default state is of the cereal-eating, tv-watching nature, and i'm coming to realize that it's something of a liability, or at least it is not very satisfying. so i'm looking for a different way to move through the world, something a little more active. something that makes me feel a little better. maybe making this blog will become my bird-watching. and/or maybe the process will help lead me to those things that feel restorative, playful, and more satisfying than tv watching.

i'm also curious about being a person who is somewhat introverted and also creating this blog thing at the same time. i'm not sure how it will be.

we shall see...

10 reasons not to have a blog

2007-10-18T16:01:00.000-07:00

one. it is the height of self-indulgence
two. nobody cares anyway
three. it will contribute to my bad habit of using the computer for personal frivolity at work
four. people won't read it and i will feel bad
five. people will read it and i will feel embarrassed
six. navigating the computerspeak will be my undoing
seven. mostly i'm a hermit
eight. i'd rather stalk other people on the internet than write about myself
nine. maybe i should be doing something more productive
ten. i really don't have all that much to say